Rolling with Anxiety
By letting go, we allow something other than ourselves to receive.
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
Evolutionary speaking, anxiety is natural and necessary. This neurophysical process alerts us to potential dangers in the environment and allows us to take actions to protect. We have all heard of the “fight”, “flight”, “freeze” responses. Right? However, the physical sensations often experienced during intense anxiety, such as shakiness, accelerated heart rate, muscle tightness, and even nausea, to name a few, are undesirable, and at times damn right crippling to many.
Within the context of therapy, I have noticed time and time again individuals struggle, initially, with the proposal of “rolling with the anxiety”. I can see their thoughts take form on their faces, and I am not surprised when later in therapy they tell me that they thought I was full of sh!# at that time, but express that rolling with the symptoms through early detection is the “easier and softer way” (to borrow a phrase from recovery).
So why? Why do so many people, initially, struggle with rolling with the symptoms?
It seems logical to proceed with caution—resist a change, when there is an unknown that is presented. That is the whole reason for experiencing anxiety to begin with! There is an unknown which is perceived to some extent to be a threat, and the body is telling the brain to prepare—be on alert. So, when I propose a change, their response is completely natural considering the circumstance.
I have heard many people say, “change is hard”, or better yet, “I DON’T LIKE CHANGE!”. Because to change means that there is an unknown. This is a perfect example of anxiety working for us. We are alerting ourselves that we are uncomfortable. Great! Now, let’s use this to our advantage, rather than feeling imprisoned.
Quite a few years ago, I was in a session with a teenager, who came to see me because he was experiencing symptoms of anxiety. I remember that he said, “I don’t like change, man”, “change is uncomfortable”. So, I took those statements in and continued with the session. During the next time we met, I was wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of chucks. I asked him if he noticed anything different, and his reply was, “yeah, you are not wearing a tie, you are wearing jeans and sneakers”. To which I asked, do I look comfortable? His reply was something to the tune of, yes. I then explained quite simply, I am. All that I needed to do was change. He smiled.
If we can change our perceptions of anxiety from, “I don’t want any part of that” to, anxiety is a natural process—an alert system detecting feelings of being uncomfortable, we can change the very way we experience life. Now that is freeing!
Within breathing is one of the most beautiful rhythms of life—receiving and letting go.
